So here it is:
The QUALITY of the question you ask will dictate the QUALITY of the answer you get.
The answer you get will dictate the decision you make.
The decision you make will dictate the action you choose.
The action you choose will dictate the life you create.
The life you create will dictate how much happiness you experience.
It really is that simple.
If you ask yourself HIGH QUALITY questions you will end up with HIGH QUALITY answers. These are answers that contain truth, options, possibility and solutions.
Alternatively, if you ask yourself crappy questions then you are only going to get crappy answers.
Examples of crappy questions might be:
Why does nothing work out for me?
Why does no one love me? or
How come I always get treated so badly?
These crappy questions are LOW QUALITY questions. Can you feel the energy of them when you ask yourself these questions? It is very challenging to answer these type of questions in a way where you can grow, feel positive, or even be motivated to change. The nature of these crappy questions ensure that you must go further down the emotional scale to answer them.
The significant thing about the questions we ask ourselves is that they lead us in a particular direction. When we wake up one day and realise that we are desperately unhappy it is sometimes because of the questions we have been asking ourselves – not just yesterday, not just last week, but over the last month, year or possibly even decade.
We don’t often realise that the questions we ask ourselves today will dictate the future we will live in the coming years.
For example the terrible marriage didn’t happen overnight, the $50,000 debt wasn’t just one bad decision, and the extra 30 kilos didn’t really sneak up on us. These situations all came from bad choices, which were based on bad decisions which were often based on BAD QUESTIONS in the first place.
So: How do you learn to ask yourself better questions?
Like most things, it’s through training.
A phenomenal book to help us decipher the decisions we make is called The Right Questions by Debbie Ford. Ford is a New York Times bestselling author and is a very wise woman indeed. In this book, Debbie offers ten profound questions that will help you change the choices you make – ultimately empowering you to fulfil your life dreams.
In the first chapter of her book, Ford uses the analogy of our “internal flame”. This internal flame is the keeper of our life force and (depending on how well the flame is burning) will influence how good we feel in life.
If our flame is roaring like a fire then we are going to be feeling strong, confident and powerful. We will speak our truth and live courageously. We will ask for help when needed and take the necessary action to live our best life. A strong flame propels us to higher states of consciousness where self-love and emotional freedom reside.
When our flame is dim we are more vulnerable, frail and weak. We doubt ourselves and are more apprehensive. When our flame has not been cared for it means we hunger for things outside of ourselves to make ourselves feel better. We don’t communicate as clearly, we worry, and our immune system is more suppressed.
Ford’s book is all about bringing awareness to the decisions you make by asking yourself powerful, high quality questions. These ten questions allow you to get real about why you are choosing what you are choosing and to sit within the truth of it all.
Depending on the answers you get from asking these questions, you can now make an informed and empowered choice to either stick with your decision or make a new one.
Think about something that you have made a decision about recently – it can be big or small. Now run your answer through the following ten questions (some of the questions may not be applicable so just use the ones that suit).
Here they are:
- Will this choice propel me towards an inspiring future or will it keep me stuck in the past?
- Will this choice bring me long term fulfilment or will it bring me short term gratification?
- Am I standing in my power or am I trying to please another?
- Am I looking for what is right or am I looking for what is wrong?
- Will this choice add to my life force or will it rob me of my energy?
- Will I use this situation as a catalyst to grow and evolve or will I use it beat myself up?
- Does this choice empower me or does it disempower me?
- Is this an act of self-love or is it an act of self-sabotage?
- Is this an act of faith or an act of fear?
- Am I choosing from my divinity or am I choosing from my humanity?
It is amazing how illuminating these questions are. There is simply nowhere to hide and that is what makes them so powerful. The more connected to your truth that you are, the brighter your flame will burn and the happier your life will be.
Happy question asking J